I know that you have faced so much prejudice and discrimination lately for your gender identity. I’m sure you must face so much of it in your daily lives, as well, which would explain your emotional reactions online.
I make it a point in my life to ally with those who are marginalized or whose voices are not being heard. It has come to my attention that the cisgender community claims to be one of these groups.
To become a better ally to those whose gender identity fits the gender that was assigned to them at birth, I would like to know more about the cisgender experience. Based on my experience as a trans* guy, there are a few questions that I have about your daily life so that I can be a more informed advocate for the needs of the cisgender community. Answer these questions as if IRL, not based on your internet interactions.
1) When did you realize that you were cisgender? What was that realization like for you? When did you begin to identify with the cisgender community?
2) What was your coming out process like? Who did you come out to first?
3) What were some of the reactions from friends, family, and others close to you in your life (IRL) when you came out as cis? Were there people whose support (or lack thereof) surprised you?
4) Has anyone ever questioned your sexual orientation based on your cisgender identity or asked how your girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/spouse identified based on your gender identity?
5) Share some of the most ridiculous questions you’ve gotten from others who were uninformed about what it meant to be cisgender (again, IRL). I bet at least one stranger has stopped you on the street to ask you about your genitals, haven’t they?
6) What has the medical aspect of your cisgender identity been like? Did you have trouble finding a therapist—or even a primary care physician—that was sensitive to your needs as a person who is cisgender?
7) Are you out as cisgender to people at work/school? Do they call you by your preferred name and pronouns? On average, how many times in a 24 hour period do you usually correct someone about your name or pronouns (again, like all of these questions, IRL, please)?
8) Have you ever had to explain the situation of your gender identity during a job interview due to incongruity between your documents that identify you and the name you use or put at the top of your resume/CV? Have you ever worried that revealing your cisgender identity upfront might sabotage your chances of employment?
9) How much money have you spent on items that help reduce your gender dysphoria? How often have you had to borrow money from family or friends in order to obtain the items you need to stay secure and happy?
10) And finally how often would you say, on a daily basis, IRL, do people throw slurs at you for your cisgender identity (examples: “cissie,” “cis scum”)?
Folks who are cis, I know that your lives day-to-day outside of Tumblr are an uphill battle to have your cisgender identity recognized and validated. I admit, as of right now, I can think of very little that people who are cisgender face IRL by way of having to defend their gender identity. But please, correct me if I’m wrong!