FUCK YEAH, GENDERQUEERS
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Not sure if we should change themes or not, is this one too garish? :s
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I hate it when people are openly heterosexist/monosexist/cissexist/(other -ists which affect you) and wonder why you always seem to be annoyed with them.
Maybe it’s because you don’t think my existence is valid?
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That feeling when straight, cisgender people defend your right to exist and be respected as a non-binary individual.
YOU PEOPLE ARE LIKE UNICORNS.
Allies, please never stop being awesome. Okay? Okay.
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Oh, Facebook.
[Image: A screenshot of a section of a facebook newsfeed. The picture and name have been blacked out. It says “(Name) updated their cover photo.”]
See anything unusual? Yeah that’s right, their. Oh yus.
On the “edit profile” page of Facebook, where it allows you to choose your gender, enter each of these into the address bar. Whichever gender is selected in the box will be unselected when you click “save changes”.
…
javascript:void(document.getElementById(‘sex’).options[0].value=’0’);
javascript:void(document.getElementById(‘sex’).options[1].value=’0’);Yeah that’s cool. When it works. But with the new Timeline view…
[Image: A screenshot of a section of a facebook timeline editor. It says “Basic Info” with a dropdown box after the words “I am”. Dropdown box is currently on “Select gender”. Underneath is an unchecked checkbox saying “Show my sex on my timeline.”]
“Show my sex in my timeline.” Say what? Sex? But it still says “select gender” if you’ve deselected a gender while on regular profile mode - and therefore still uses neutral pronouns and doesn’t show a gender. I’m not sure if you can still use the above lines to deselect if you’ve switched to Timeline while using a binary gender marker - anyone know? The dropdown options here are Male and Female, as usual.
Interestingly, I listed a friend as my mother on Facebook (yeah yeah I know, I know), and she accepted - meaning she didn’t need to signify what I was in relation to her, since FB generally tries to figure it out. Apparently it had no idea what to do with me since I didn’t use a gender on my profile so it assigned me as her son. Led to a lot of lolwhats from friends who didn’t know I had deselected gender as opposed to just hiding it on my profile.
Facebook, y u make things ridiculous for nonbinaries?
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FUCK YEAH, GENDERQUEERS!: Oh, Facebook.
[Image: A screenshot of a section of a facebook newsfeed. The picture and name have been blacked out. It says “(Name) updated their cover photo.”]
See anything unusual? Yeah that’s right, their. Oh yus.
On the “edit profile” page of Facebook, where it allows you to choose your gender,…
I unselected my gender, and it now lists me as a brother. \damn facebook misogyny.
Yeah, I figure it’s because while you used to be able to use neutral pronouns through selection a while back you always had to use gendered family terms. Things like “sibling” or “offspring”/”child” simply don’t exist on the system while they/their/theirs does.
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Oh, Facebook.
Somebody show/tell me how to do this…? I can only select male/female….. I don’t like it…… :[
HERE’S HOW TO DO IT: http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=549384115767 okay do that, and then on your family’s profiles IT WILL DEFAULT TO son/male cousin/nephew so you have to have your parents/aunts/uncles go to “family” on their page and then select whatever they want to select, or hack it for them, whatever. But be aware that it will default to male, and from experience I know that this can cause problems if you’re not out to your family!
Thanks for that! I reckon it’ll be very helpful to those still having issues. If you’re unsure about what to change it to, here’s what I’ve got under “inspect element” for the gender field. Using Chrome.
<select id=”sex” name=”sex” onchange=”var no_gender = ($("sex").value == 0);
var checkbox = $("sex_visibility"); if (no_gender) { checkbox.checked = false; } else if (checkbox.disabled) { checkbox.checked = true; } checkbox.disabled = no_gender; “><option value=”0” selected=”1”>Select gender</option><option value=”1”>Female</option><option value=”2”>Male</option></select>
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On Coming Out, Priorities, And Obligations.
Since it’s National Coming Out Day, I’ve noticed that there has been a lot of emphasis on why one should come out. Not on the benefits of being out, mind - I’ve seen a lot of wording that makes it obligatory. There have been various reasons given: so you can be honest to others; so others know you trust them; so you can help to break down stereotypes which others may believe in. With that in mind, I wanted to say something.
Your personal safety and wellbeing should be your top priority.
I hate that people feel pressured into coming out because they think it’s the “right” thing to do. And while this goes for anyone of any sexuality minority, I think it goes double for gender minorities/trans* people, who are, in my experience, more frequently misunderstood.
Society has pushed you into this little box you don’t fit in, and doesn’t really want you to try and get out. You owe nothing to a society which makes it hard even for you to get the basic human dignities - things like security that you won’t be discriminated against whilst looking for a job or that you won’t get beaten up for using a public restroom. Concealing your identity is not lying or being dishonest: it is a basic reflex of self-preservation. Even those who appear to be completely supportive can change their tune when it comes to people close to them - if you feel as though you may be put in danger by coming out, don’t do it.
At the end of the day, you may hurt somebody’s feelings by coming out to someone later in life, or not at all. However, another person’s comfort does not outweigh your survival, health and safety. You, as a marginalised person, have no responsibility to educate others and make them comfortable with the way you are - those with privilege should take that upon themselves.
<3
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How common are counsellors/therapists etc. who specialise in people who are non-binary?
I kinda wanna do that. Or something like that. It might be kinda cool.
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Transgender Parenting
A question was posed to me quite a while ago. If I ever raised kids, would I tell them I was genderfluid? Or would I just be “mummy” to them?
I said that I couldn’t really answer that question because I don’t want kids, therefore I find it really difficult to imagine myself in that hypothetical situation. Still, I wondered about what I would do, and what other trans* people do.
I guess in a way, withholding information like that from your own children is like withholding that stuff from anyone close to you. For me, at least, I had to tell my closest friends because otherwise I would feel as though I was hiding a massive part of myself - a part I wanted to feel free to share. I would feel bad that I hadn’t let these people in on this bit of my life.
And it’s not just that I didn’t want to have to keep secrets from people who I knew I could trust. It’s also that by telling my accepting friends about my identity, I could mostly stop them from accidentally misgendering me. After being wrongly labelled for most of my life, having even one or two people get it right was a huge relief. I certainly couldn’t cope with being called “mum” or “dad” for my whole life by someone close to me.
But then there’s the whole child-not-fitting-in thing. I don’t mean that any hypothetical kids would go into school and mention their “parent” and their dad, or something, instead of the generic mum-and-dad, and other kids would pick on them. (From what I’ve seen, children tend to be more accepting than adults as a rule). I’m talking about mentioning it to teachers or other adults, who might discriminate against them - or me. Trans*-positive education/awareness would obviously protect against this but I don’t see worldwide acceptance happening any time soon.
Finally, there’s the gender-based stereotyping of parents. As much as people can say “yay, equality! Women can go to work now and people won’t think they’re freaks for not being housewives! Men can be stay-at-home dads!” I really don’t think the problem is solved fully, at all. As a mother, you’re told you need to be loving, accepting, caring, and also be a domestic goddess. As a father you need to be a leader, you need to set the family rules down, be the breadwinner and the discipliner. I know these stereotypes also affect binary-gendered people, both cis and trans, but I think there’s an extra element of awfulness when the gender you’re being stereotyped as isn’t even the gender you are.
I’m interested in hearing your thoughts on this. Reblog and add a comment, or you can submit here. I’ll be tagging all posts relating to this with transparenting.
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Thinking of having a page up with links for questioning/unsure/possibly transgender people.
E.g. links which cover often-used transgender-related medical terms, “trans-101” style things, including information for nonbinaries who are just starting to think about their gender.
Any recommendations for links to put in?
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A blog to celebrate all things transgender, third gender, male, female, neutrois, neutral, genderless, pangender, genderfluid, polygender, androgyne and genderqueer in any way. Warning: contains copious amounts of genderfuck.
